I am fed up with the complete rubbish that adorns our newspapers each morning! I pick up a copy of the Metro each morning at the station and flick through it on the way to Tonbridge, most days getting annoyed at the complete drivel contained within. Because of this, I feel the need to make note of some of the total w**k I find.
Today, on page 25, there is the ‘heartbreaking’ story (which takes up half a page) of Alan Jenkins. Alan, in all his wisdom decided to have a tattoo of his wife and 2 children across the whole of his back. The main picture shows Alan standing with his back to us, proudly displaying his hideously expensive artwork with his wife and 2 children peeking round him. The man is even smiling, obviously very pleased with the ‘art’ on his back. Now, the crux of the story is that his wife, Lisa, has now left Alan for someone who works at her sports centre. Poor old Alan bleats ‘Lisa may left me, but she will always be with me thanks the the tattoo’.
There is a 2nd picture to the story showing Lisa with her new beau, however the picture was obviously taken at the same time as the other picture showing the smiling Alan, Lisa and their 2 children. She is wearing the same clothes, earrings seem the same, hair is EXACTLY the same and the background trees are the same. Wife runs off? What a complete crock of shit. Where is the story here? That Alan was such an idiot he paid nearly £900 for a tattoo of his family on his back? No wonder she left him! I would normally skip this type of story but the ‘Wife Runs Off’ type of headline and the 2 pictures showing her with 2 guys that were taken at the same shoot caught my attention.
This type of claptrap is something I would have expected from The Star or The Sport. Anyway, I am at Tonbridge, time to get off the train (after going through the whole paper and typing this up, shows how much content there is).
